Member-only story
One Dog, One Vote
The tragic tail of one dog’s flirtation with the Donegal far-right
Can dogs vote? Obviously not, that would be stupid. However, an unfortunate mix up with the local electoral register meant that a polling card unexpectedly arrived at the house. On it was printed the name “Marlo Keano Hugo Chavez Breslin”. This is the name of my dog. My dog has a vote.
Meet Marlo.
Marlo is in many ways a normal dog. He enjoys long walks on the beach, socialising with other dogs, is a non-smoker and has a good sense of humour. Marlo joined the family a few years ago after we collected him from a pet rescue, where he had turned up in an emaciated, hobo-like state of destitution. We don’t know exactly what Marlo experienced prior to this but we know it wasn’t nice. He almost certainly suffered violence at the hands of humans, and he retains a near-pathological fear of unknown people visiting the house. We’ve worked long and hard at showing Marlo that humans are trustworthy. These efforts have been largely successful although visitors will still be met with a volley of barked abuse and a kind of panicked scurrying about. Still, Marlo is a good boy.
